


Several tv moments recreated by SCP Foundation/CB characters

by DumbNico



Series: Secure. Contain. Protect. [1]
Category: SCP - Containment Breach, SCP Foundation
Genre: Comedy, Gen, M/M, Other, Romantic Comedy, TV Tropes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 06:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20831057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DumbNico/pseuds/DumbNico
Summary: Some comedic tv moments (some might be funny to me and some might be funny to you to) recreated by several SCPs and staff members (if possible).Shows:Golden Girls (mostly);F. R. I. E. N. D. S. (Mostly as well);How I met your mother;One day at a time (the newer version).





	1. Too ugly to live

**Author's Note:**

> Yes. This is my first story (lame, I know)  
And yes. I ship The Shy Guy and Larry. If this ship is not your cup of tea, then don't read it. No one is forcing you to do so.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Shy Guy wants to go out on a date with Larry (Yes, I ship The Shy Guy with Larry), but doesn't know which jewlery he should wear. He made the mistake of asking The Plague Doctor and Peanut.
> 
> (Scene taken from The Golden Girls. I do not own any of the shows that appear here).

SCP 096: "Okay guys, which goes better, the silver chain or the pearls?"

SCP 173: "The chain."

SCP 049: "An amateur's mistake. Can't you see that the chain accentuates the many folds of that turkey-like neck?"

SCP 173: "Well that may be, but the pearls draw attention to the non-existent bosom."

SCP 049 : "Yes, but, the chain leads the eye even lower, to that huge "spare tire," jutting out over those square manly hips."

SCP 096: "Why don't I just wear a sign that says ^Too Ugly To Live^ ?"

SCP 049: "Fine, but what are you going to hang it from, the chain or the pearls?"

SCP 096: [Angered] "NEITHER, I'M GONNA SPRAY PAINT IT ON MY HUMP!!"


	2. Peanut's tailor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SCP 035 asked his friends about where he could find a tailor to alter his outfit. Peanut suggested a tailor, that was...not nice.
> 
> (This is a recreated scene taken from the sitcom F. R. I. E. N. D. S.
> 
> I don't own any of the shows that appear in this story. Also, a tiny warning about the tailor taking advantage of SCP 035. It might be sensitive to some readers/listeners)

SCP 035: Yo, Peanut. Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor is a very bad man.

SCP 173: What’re you talking about?

SCP 106: Hey, what’s goin’ on?

SCP 035: Peanut’s tailor...took advantage of me.

SCP 106: What?

SCP 173: No way. I’ve been going to the guy for 12 years.

SCP 035: He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite--

SCP 106: what?

SCP 035: Cupping.

SCP 173: That’s how they do pants. First they go up one side, they move it over, they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. What? Larry, Larry, would you tell him? Isn’t that how they measure pants?

SCP 106: Yes, yes it is. In prison! What's the matter with you?

SCP 173: What? That’s not? Oh my god.

***

[Later, during another Containment Breach, Peanut and SCP 035 are sitting in the cafeteria]

SCP 173: Hey, when the doctors do those type of tests...

SCP 035: That’s ok.

***

[While SCP 035 is sitting on a chair (traumatised by Peanut's tailor) and Larry is comforting him]

SCP 173: [talking on the phone] I swear to god, [REDACTED]. That’s not how they measure pants.


End file.
